I don’t know how to label this feeling. When you see someone you used to date dating someone new and you’re still alone. It’s some kind of jealousy yet not entirely. Maybe a little envious and a little scared at the same time. Everyone is moving on, getting engaged, seeing someone getting married. And I’m still here. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be left behind.
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leaping, falling, crashing
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“I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well.”
Psalms 139:14
my life and my hope is in You.
i swear this song sounded way cooler when i was half drunk in a stadium full of rugby studs and other drunkards. I don’t know what to think of it now that i realise the song contains the lyrics “i’m bullet proof… I’m titanium.”
Had a crazy fun time at the sevens. Bargaining with the touts, downing 4 litres of beer while screaming like a psycho, leaving the stadium still high, hitting the clubs for round 2 before I even properly sobered up. Eileen and i are already making plans for 2013. Oh it’s going to be epic.
Maybe you kiss someone, maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter though because the weekend is more about celebrating your friendships and yourself. They’re about detaching yourself from your anxieties and feeling a sense of togetherness. They’re about letting go and being the lovely mess you deserve to be. You should feel safe and secure, even in the “mistakes” you make, because you’re always surrounded by people who love you.
faster than we thought we’d go, beneath the sound of hope
I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days. And I think maybe its not the people around me who are changing and moving on. It’s just me dwelling in the past, refusing to take the next step. Life is scaring me, I don’t want to face it. All I can think about is running away. Again. Only problem now, running away isn’t an option anymore.
It’s not about geography or happenstance You need to fly and take a chance You don’t need to soar to emptiness And float on high and forever dance alone You’re scared ‘cause I feel like home
Don’t get stuck.
I don’t think much about Valentine’s Day, i don’t particularly hate it and i’m not particularly fond of it other. I’m not sure how to put this in words, i guess i don’t really buy into what it supposedly means. Its about living up to expectations and being extravagant and not spontaneity or consistency (isn’t that what love is?). Its way too contrived. Nevertheless, seeing all these couples going out in full force is making me think about the boy who, according to my mom, is gonna sweep me off my feet this year. Whoever you are, i hope you’re out there and i hope you’re not a sucker for valentine’s day.
